All My Alter Egos are Lily White and Male

J. Michael Willard
3 min readJun 4, 2020

By Michael Willard

A rather embarrassing development has occurred. It was brought to my attention that while I am a coffee tete-a-tete liberal none of my alter egos are of color or, for that matter, of the sugar, spice and all things nice variety.

This, even though some of my most influential confidants holding top executive positions over the years in my companies have been female. The fact is I have been active in civil rights since the 1960s.

It’s ancient history, but I was unceremoniously asked to leave a private university for protesting an all-white policy, and much later, downed Coca-Colas on my live-aboard boat with Martin King III, the son of the late Dr. King.

I have my garden variety prejudices, but none have to do with color, sexual identity or religion. I believe you have to favor inclusion to really be a red, white, and blue American.

My son Rob is black or bi-racial, as are two grandkids. This, I realize is a gratuitous comment as I chase my penultimate point into a black hole. However, I have a button-busting pride in that family and shout when I can.

But the discrepancy between what is and what should be was brought to my attention by the most chatterbox of my ghostly friends, the Spaniard Pablo Pistachio. Pablo, you possibly remember, was a colorful character in an earlier novel, “Killing Friends”.

In an effort to rectify this — and despite the recent bellicosity of our current accidental and temporary President — I am issuing a blanket announcement for alter ego auditions for folks of color and ladies in general.

If some version of actress Helen Mirren would appear or a facsimile of actor Morgan Freeman materialize, I wouldn’t be disappointed and would welcome their sage advice as I have often admired them on the silver screen.

The fact that they both are thespians isn’t relevant. Besides, as Billy Shakespeare might say, “Aren’t we all, and the world is our stage.”

I also should hasten to add that its not a difficult job. I am putty in the hands of my alter egos. A general meeting of the group is more like a tag team match at Georgia Championship Wrestling. Forget Robert’s Rules of Order. It’s mayhem.

However, I realize such a quest is far-fetched, and the most likely suitors for my open positions would be of the same lowered economic and social…

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J. Michael Willard

I am a novelist but my day job is utilizing my years as a business consultant, journalist, and public service in the field of international development.